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Holy Skinny Jonah Hill Batman!

7 Nov

Have you seen the Call of Duty: MW3 trailer? Yeah yeah, awesome graphics and shooting and blowing stuff up, but more importantly- did you see Jonah Hill???

 

Just how does one go from this?

To this?

Shocking really! Good for you Jonah! PS: I think we all know deep down that Call of Duty is garbage and the greatest first person shooter OF ALL TIME will forever and always be Goldeneye ūüôā

Things You Should Know Are Happening: Raul Castro

20 Apr

Raul Castro has formally replaced his brother Fidel as Cuba’s President. You should know a little bit about it.

Why?

Raul is a little more open to reform and progress than his control freak brother. After he unofficially replaced Fidel in 2006, he stated that it was time for “systematic rejuvenation of the whole chain of party and administrative posts.”

During the first session of the Cuban Congress in 14 years Raul proposed and the congress approved the following:

*Massive layoffs in the public sector and an expansion of the private sector to soak up some of the unemployed.

*Cubans would be able to buy and sell homes and cars for the first time in decades but would see their ration books gradually eliminated.

Hopefully, eventually, maybe relations with the US will be reconsidered as well? Probably not during Raul’s time, but I can’t help but see this as a teeny tiny step in the right direction. It’s possible that the Cubans may take a page out of the middle eastern citizens books and completely overthrow the communist regime. Either way, Cuba is a country to watch.

Does the Middle Eastern Crisis Confuse You?

1 Apr

If so, today is your lucky day! The internet has put the crisis in terms we all can understand- the wonderful language of Angry Birds!

In the video, ousted Tunisian President Ben Ali, deposed despot Hosni Mubarak of Egypt, and Libyan strongman Muammar Gaddafi take the form of the dastardly green pigs, while the angry bird protesters work to smash their straw houses. With Libya, the birds get an assist from an American Eagle.

Tequila Tampax Anyone? How About A Kotex Kar Bomb?

1 Apr

Apparently the hott new trend in underage drinking is to soak tampons in alcohol before using them. Police in southern Germany report that both underage ladies and underage gentlemen are using the INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS AND TOTALLY UNHEALTHY method known as “slimming” because it eliminates the dead-giveaway alcohol breath. A 14 year old girl collapsed at a recent street¬† festival because of her vodka soaked pooter plug. The kids are most definitely NOT alright.

Pac-Man Might Get His Own Reality Show

25 Jan

The bulbous little yellow man is joining the likes of Heidi and Spencer, the Gosselin crew, and the entire state of New Jersey by getting his own reality TV show. The new unscripted program will not actually star the Mr. or his Mrs. or their various spawn, but instead will probably feature contestants in a life sized Pac-Man game.

Here’s what the creators, who claim the show will be similar to the hit show Wipeout, have to say:

“The idea we have is to take what Pac-Man is and bring it to life, to bring what is essentially the world‚Äôs biggest game of tag to television.”

Watching people run around a maze getting knocked around by “ghosts” sounds fairly entaining to me… so sure why not!

It will basically be this:

Plus this:

And will hopefully equal this:

A Ken Doll Reality Show

20 Jan

Yep. Mattel is filming a reality show to search for the “Next Ken.” You know Ken, as in Barbie (a doll)’s boyfriend (also a doll). Whitney Port is the host. I can’t even write anymore. I think my brain has died and went away. Just read about it here please.

H*&^leberry Finn

7 Jan

An¬†Auburn University professor plans to release a new edition of¬†Mark Twain’s¬†Huckleberry Finn. His version will remove all terms deemed politically incorrect with more acceptable words, in theory making the novel more¬†accessible¬†and¬†likable. Many people are outraged by this! I think that the original is untouchable and this¬†nuisance¬†will disappear into¬†obscurity¬†relatively soon. The more important question at hand is… what happened to Jonathan Taylor Thomas?

Confused by Wikileaks?

28 Dec

Have you been wondering “What’s the big deal with all this Wikileaks drama?” or “What could they possible be leaking that’s causing such a big hullabaloo?”

Never fear, Jennee and boingboing to the rescue! Here’s a recap of all the Wikileaks leaks that have thus far been… leaked! (Courtesy of the blog boingboing).

NPR in a Bind

24 Nov

National Public Radio (NPR) almost lost all of its federal funding because the GOP is upset than Juan Williams got the boot and that the brilliant media outlet received a $1.8 million donation from a left-wing philanthropist.

I love a lot of the stuff NPR does (they’re programmed as the #3 on my car stereo), and I think they are one of the most important news organizations out there. I would hate to see them go the way of so many other journalistic efforts that have gone under lately.

However this issue has me in a bind. As a journalist (kinda), I do not think there should be any ties (especially not monetary ones!) between the media and the government they are supposed to be a watchdog for. That just reeks of “propaganda” potential. But how else are we going to save the media?

The “pay wall” route is getting messier and messier for printed news outlets trying to make their way in the digital world, and for those who say do away with the journalism industry all together, you’re off your rocker. Journalism is a necessary element to democracy, and an industry I definitely deem worthy of protection.

A factor that would help resolve my internal conflict is the full disclosure of NPR’s financial information. As it stands, NPR’s numbers are far from transparent, and therefore it is impossible to see how much money they receive from the government and what percentage of their total budget those government funds represent. Right wing analysts estimate (and undoubtedly inflate) that NPR rakes in a little over $40 million in federal funds, which is about 25% of their total budget. NPR claims that government funds only represent 3% of their budget (a little less than $5 million) but refuse to show any proof.

It may take a government oversight committee under the new-GOP House to resolve the discrepancy, but until then I will be enjoying as much WUWM as possible while I still can.

Mom Calls in Bomb Threat to Prevent Her Daughter from Eloping

24 Nov

No, it wasn’t my mom (not that she wouldn’t do it though). Anyways, the psycho didn’t want her daughter to elope to Morroco from Russia, so she called police and said that her daughter was a suicide bomber planning to blow up her plane that was leaving from Moscow.

Police quickly cleared the daughter and tracked the call to the mother, who was then arrested. Here’s the CNN coverage.

Then the daughter flew to Morocco and got married anyway.

Love triumphs over all! But especially meddling control freak mothers!!!

Putin’s Prime Pooch

22 Nov

Bad ass Russian ruler, Vladimir Putin, received an adorable puppy dog as a gift from Bulgaria. And he’s letting the internet name him!

Isn’t he just the cutest little thing? (And the dog is pretty cute too! Zing!)

This is Not a Christmas Post

18 Nov

IT‘S A CHRISTMAS TREE POST!!!

FUN FACT TIME: NYC’s Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree this year is 74 feet high, weighs 12 tons, and is from Norway a Norway Spruce. (My co-workers and I decided it would be a much better story if the tree actually came from Norway. What kind of magic would they have to use to get it here? A plane wouldn’t be able to get off the ground, and the tree would be dead by the time they’d boat it over here. People would puzzle over the tree magic for ages!)

Anyways… the actually back story is kinda cool too I guess. The tree comes from Mahopac, NY and was donated by a 12 year FDNY veteran who was a first responder on 9/11 and his family.

Now to decorate! The official tree lighting takes place on November 30 (well after Thanksgiving, as God intended!)

Human Casteller Festival

17 Nov

Only somewhere as amazing as Spain would host a competition for something like this. It’s crazy watching them collapse for sure, but the most shocking part to me was that children participate!!!


Porpoises Rescue Dick Van Dyke

15 Nov

The 84 year old TV legend fell asleep on his surfboard and was pushed ashore by porpoises! What a crazy story…

I feel a tribute section coming on!

 

Twinkie Diet

12 Nov

A professor from Kansas State University ate nothing but Twinkies, Doritos, and other “awful” unhealthy foods for two months straight. No, he didn’t die. He didn’t even gain weight! He actually lost 27 pounds!!!

His premise was that calorie counting is what matters when it comes to dieting, not the nutritional value of the food… Interesting stuff.

Read the rest of the story here.

Personally, I don’t care if it doesn’t make me fat, eating all that crap for two months straight would make me feel disgusting. Bleech.

All Hail Our New Female Snake-Jesus Overlords

10 Nov

Parthenogenesis is the stuff of legend (see Jesus Christ, Buddha, and a whole lotta other religious figures). So how shall we celebrate the birth of our latest saviors?

Scientists have determined that a Boa Constrictor has virgin-ly birthed¬† 22 babies. All the babies are female and all of them inherited all of their genetic material from their mother (wow am I glad I’m not a snake…zing!).

So I found this on Boing Boing, but BBC covered it too…

Bye Bye Bootleggers!

2 Nov

One of my least favorite Water/3rd St. bars is being replaced by a new venue called Whiskey River. The new venue will have a country theme and will feature live country and rock music.

Wait a sec… didn’t they just open Red Rock Saloon like a block away? And isn’t Milwaukee getting a Coyote Ugly bar?

Either we’re facing a country music takeover of the bar scene, or I’m predicting this reincarnation will be short lived…

Disney purchases rights to Marvel Movies

26 Oct

For approximately $4 billion, Disney now possesses the rights to distribute all movies based on Marvel Comics characters, starting with 2012’s the Avengers and 2013’s Iron Man 3. The rights were previously owned by Paramount, who will still snag the cash for next summer’s Marvel movies Thor and Captain America.

Not sure how I feel about this. Disney isn’t well know for channeling the gritty dark themes that have made recent superhero movies successful (ex. the Batman series reboot and Iron Man). I’m a little worried they’ll get trapped in the “how much money can we make off this” thing and all subsequent Marvel movies will be cheesy expensive flops (ex. Prince of Persia). I’ll probably ignore all of this however if they give me a whole lot more of this:

I love ScarJo!!!

Conan Premiere- November 8th

14 Oct

Conan O’Brien has been promoting his new show for TBS like crazy (seriously 22 promos? is that necessary?).¬† The latest promo is my favorite so far:

It reminds me of his $1.5 million Tonight Show send-off. I really hope his new show doesn’t flop, and he has a crazy year of hype to live up to… Good luck CoCo!

92% of Toddlers Have Online Presence

8 Oct

Some research place surveyed 2,200 mothers and it turns out 92% of toddlers in the United States have some kind of online presence. The research says this can vary from a single photo uploaded and shared by their parents, to a full-fledged profile on a social networking site.

92%!!! Holy crap that’s a lot!!! But when you think about it, uploading baby pictures within hours of your child being born is the norm nowadays. It surprises us when there aren’t entire albums dedicated to a new bundle of joy within the first week of its life.

I would say think about what you’re posting. Do you really think Jr. is going to want his future employers to see his fresh-from-the-womb pictures in 20 years? Probably not… So try to have some discretion and keep your postpartum-excitement in check

Just updating my status... No biggie

 

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