Snooki’s Book Is As Terrible As Expected

6 Jan

Here are a few excerpts from Snooki’s epic novel “A Shore Thing.” If the fact that this creature was allowed to write a book isn’t a sure sign of the apocalypse, I don’t know what is:

“He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face.”

Literary genius! More more more!!!

“Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a ‘roid rage, it is a ‘road’ ‘roid rage.”

So eloquent, so beautiful…

“Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.”

Is there somewhere in the universe where I can go and never hear the words “Jersey Shore” and “Snooki” ever again? Please tell me, I need to buy a plane ticket asap. And if I can also escape “The Kardashians” and “Justin Bieber” I would be most thankful. Thanks!

C’mon people, have some class and show a little integrity and intelligence. There are way better ways to entertain yourself than this kind of trash. I think of all the great music and books and movies and art that goes unseen while this crap is going to become an instant bestseller. It breaks my heart.

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5 Responses to “Snooki’s Book Is As Terrible As Expected”

  1. Rosemary Karnowski January 6, 2011 at 10:50 PM #

    I certainly hope that you did not BUY this masterpiece! If I heard correctly, the “author” has only read two books in her life. I’m betting that she did not read her own book…and I have to wonder if she can even read. Another winner who is famous simply for being famous and nothing more. Ick.

    • jenneemarie22 January 6, 2011 at 11:03 PM #

      I would never buy such a thing. Waste of money and I’d be ashamed to have to put it on the shelf with Shakespeare and Gatsby and Harry Potter. As for the famous for being famous bit I totally agree. I think that’s why things like Jersey Shore and Paris Hilton and the Kardashians bother me. How are any of these train wrecks positively contributing to society? Ick indeed!

  2. Mike January 7, 2011 at 12:46 AM #

    If you ever do come across this magical place please let me know, however for now I will have to settle for my one week a year up in the northwoods.

    • jenneemarie22 January 7, 2011 at 2:30 PM #

      Uhhh I’m already counting down the days! I just with I knew more about my job situation so I knew how much vacation time I’ll have! lol

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Cultural Cortisone Shot « The Mango Tree - January 6, 2011

    […] Jan To restore my faith in humanity after the discovery of a Snooki book and Kardashian music career, I’m posting movie trailers for films I would like to see. Some […]

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